MONTAIGNE ON FRIENDS AND CRITICS

On September 13, 1592, Michel de Montaigne died near Bordeaux, France. The son of a wealthy Catholic landowner and a mother of Spanish-Jewish descent, he was allowed to hear and speak only Latin until he was six years old. After a brief career in law and politics, he retired to the family chateau and devoted himself to a life of reflection and writing. In 1580, he invented a whole new literary form with his historic “Essays” (in French “Essais”), a collection of literary reflections on innumerable topics. Montaigne wrote wisely on many subjects, but never more than when he discussed the value of having friends with whom we may test our ideas and opinions.

He expressed the thought in a neat metaphorical way: “It is good to rub and polish our brain against that of others.” He also offered a remarkable thought on the giving and the receiving of candid feedback: “We need very strong ears to hear ourselves judged frankly, and because there are few who can endure frank criticism without being stung by it, those who venture to criticize us perform a remarkable act of friendship, for to undertake t wound or offend a man for his own good is to have a healthy love for him.”